Enscotched - A Gilmore Girls Ficathon
by junienmomo
Summary: Chapter 1 is the list of participating authors for our 2016 Enscotched Ficathon. The rules are also included here.
1. Ficathon Rules

We're having a Ficathon!

The theme is "Enscotched" in honor of Sookie's Thanksgiving disaster in A Deep-Fried Thanksgiving.

The Ficathon rules:

\- Write a story, or a chapter in your current work

\- Have at least one character be Enscotched (Tipsy, drunk, not sober, ...)

\- Add an Author's Note that you're participating in the Enscotched Ficathon

\- Ficathon ends March 31, 2016

* * *

I will track updates and on this page list your name and the title of your contribution. This page will contain a list of all participating stories that I can find. Let me know if I've missed one.

It's that simple, but PM me if you have questions.

* * *

Participating Authors and Stories

Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear: we love our M Ratings. A lot.

\- twochairsshortofaset: The Royal Brigade of Hopeless Cases, pre-series teen Lorelai and Luke at a party

\- Skinfull: Learning Curve, Chapter 1, Luke and Lorelai play with balls

\- PurryCat: Reggae Fever, or why Luke bought that CD

\- KnightInShiningFlannel: Render Me Speechless, Chapter 4 (Jello shots are involved)

\- KnightInShiningFlannel: Drinking You Back (drunk Luke and Lorelai)

\- ImagineBackstory: Eight and a Half, Chapter 7, Drinks & Drinks & Drinks (drunk Literati)

\- Handful of Barbie: Reconciling, Chapter 14, Albatross (drunk Luke)

\- DSLeo: Friday Night Dipper (drunk Friday Night Dinner with one special character)

\- Junienmomo: Fireball (Sookie and Jackson still tipsy after Thanksgiving)


	2. Fireball

Part of the Enscotched Ficathon 2016

* * *

Fireball

 **A/N:** What happened after the Deep Fried Thanksgiving episode ended.

* * *

"I'm not buying any more trash cans, Jess! How many times have I told you to fold the packaging up so more fits in the bag? The more compact, the less space it takes up in landfills. Geez, you'd think living in New York you'd understand what happens living in an environmental hazard area."

Jess rolled his eyes at Luke's latest version of 'New York sucks.' "It doesn't matter, because you make me put it in Taylor's trash cans anyway."

As the men moved stealthily around the side of Doose's Market, Jess, fresh from his latest necking session with Rory, decided to give his uncle an early Christmas present.

"So I was talking to Rory tonight," he began, squinting in the darkness to read Luke's body language before he continued. He and Rory had talked about Luke and Lorelai several times, and Jess was in a mood to play puppetmaster tonight. Their cutesy old married couple routine at dinner that day called for retribution.

"Is that what you kids are calling it these days?"

"So funny," snarked Jess back. "Look, here's the bottom line. Rory says Lorelai's had a thing for you for a while."

The bag Luke shoved into the trash can split open immediately from the force of his thrust. Luke jumped back as something wet and sticky began leaking. "Woulda been nice if she'd said something," he grumbled.

"Do you ever look in a mirror?" Jess wondered out loud. "Lorelai's verbal repertoire consists of smartass remarks, lame jokes, mind-numbingly stupid songs, but never her true emotions."

Jess could barely make out Luke's stony expression in the darkness.

"Yeah, pretty much like that," said Jess. "Talk about made for each other."

Luke remained silent as he rearranged the bags to hide the diner bags underneath the Doose's bags. Jess was a pain in the ass, sure, but his insights were correct more often than not. When Luke considered that Jess was quoting Rory, well maybe he wasn't just trying to humiliate him.

Jess let his uncle stew in his own thoughts for a while.

"Rory said that Lorelai even asked her if it would be OK if she dated you." That was Jess' money shot. Even though Rory said that happened a couple of years ago, she also told him that she now thought the two of them had feelings for each other.

Luke leaned on the leaking trash can, no longer caring if the mess was making a smelly puddle. Rory doesn't lie, he thought. If Lorelai went so far as to discuss it with Rory, that must mean something.

Their criminal activity finished, the two men moved to the end of the alley.

God, that kid was smart, thought Luke. Lorelai always backed off when they had a moment. Rory and Lorelai talking about this was one kind of Luke-talk that he didn't mind in the least. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that his nephew was dating her daughter after all.

All Luke Danes needed was a plan.

Jess smiled as they reached the street, where he could see Luke's now-hopeful expression. This guy wouldn't last two minutes on the streets of New York, he thought. Scam artists would have him for lunch.

"You don't need a plan. Just jump, Luke," he said.

Before Luke could wipe the surprised look off his face and distract Jess with a rant, a loud "Wuff!" rang out, followed by a fireball blowing into the sky somewhere near Sookie's house.

Fearing the worst had happened, they ran over there to see if they could help. At least Luke ran to help, Jess went along simply because a fireball over Stars Hollow was the most interesting thing that had happened since he lived here. He figured he ought to be a witness, so when Taylor Doose decided they needed a Fireball Festival, someone would be there to rein him in with the facts.

Luke turned the corner much sooner than Jess did, giving Jess the opportunity to watch his uncle plant one large foot on a plastic bag and go sliding, his arms careening comically as he tried to maintain his balance.

He failed, and Jess snickered as Luke ended on the ground, tangled in his own arms and legs. Pulling the bag out from under his butt, he released a string of curses. "Why the hell don't people pick up after themselves? I could have broken my neck!"

He grew silent as he recognized the bag's contents. "Shit! Lorelai! Where the hell is she?" The last thing in the world he could imagine Lorelai doing is willingly leaving food behind, especially his cooking.

A tiny little Jess sitting on his shoulder told Luke that maybe it was one of the ways the universe was giving him a sign. The tiny little Luke on the other shoulder told him something must be seriously wrong if she abandoned his buns. The tiny little Jess refused to let the 'dirty' joke go unsaid and almost got into a fistfight with the tiny little Luke.

Luke decided he had already gone crazy.

Jess silently held out his hand to help Luke stand.

"Go find Rory," ordered Luke as he gracefully stood with Jess' assistance. "It looks like they are here in this mess somewhere. And stay away from that grease fire." His tone left no room for disobedience, and he stalked off still clutching the bag of smashed dinner rolls.

Drunk relatives of Jackson still wandered across the half-burnt lawn. A fire continued rolling across the grass, having started when the turkey deep fryer had fallen over. Smoke covered the area, hiding the house nearly completely from view.

Luke circled widely around the burn site, where people who actually looked like they knew what they were doing had gotten the fire under control. Other firefighters at a short distance were making sure neither Sookie's nor other houses were in any danger.

He plunged into the smoky area, still looking for any sign of Lorelai, Sookie or Rory.

The smoke grew thicker as he moved around the yard. What the hell did the weather guy call it? An inverted cloud? Nah, it was something else that kept the smoke close to the ground. It didn't matter what the damned thing was called, he still couldn't find Lorelai, and that wasn't good. Not that he was frantic, mind you. Luke Danes didn't get frantic. Concerned, yeah, and that's why he called out, "Lorelai?" in an anxious voice, raising it a half tone on the last syllable.

"Luke!" He heard her shout from a distance. Now that was frantic, he thought smugly.

The distance was clearly much shorter than she expected, because she ran smack dab into him, hitting him hard in the chest.

"Ow! That hurt!" he complained as she fell back, panting. Luke rubbed the quickly-forming bruise where her elbow had driven hard into him.

"Luke! I… I've been so worried!" Overjoyed to see him again, she jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him. Her coat was marred with charcoal and her hair smelled like the smoke he'd been choking down for the past minutes. Not quite the coconut and strawberry scents he'd occasionally caught a whiff of in the past, but here she was in his arms.

She jumped, he thought. "Just jump, Luke." Jess' words rang out again.

 _Maybe Jess wasn't so dumb after all._

He decided to jump, and he reached for her, but she had slid off him and backed away. His frustrated hands grasped nothing but air.

Lorelai had morphed from overjoyed to angry in a split-second.

"Luke, how could you! The fireball and the flames and the smoke, and… You changed shirts! How dare you change shirts?!" she demanded, waving a smoky piece of red and blue fabric in front of his nose.

Shit, he thought. She jumped, then I jumped, then she backed away. She's probably going to bolt.

 _Jess is an idiot._

She charged him again, fury in her eyes. This time he moved back several steps from her, rubbing his bruised chest again.

"I remember this plaid!" she waved the charred fabric in his face once more. Luke brushed it away as she apparently tried to shove it into his mouth.

She continued talking at lightning speed, anger and worry coloring her tone.

"Then there was the fireball and I ran over, but I couldn't find anything but pieces of your flannel, and I thought you'd been blown to smithereens, because I know you'd be the first one to come running to help and because you're Luke Danes, White Knight and because you're Butch Danes, Track Star you'd beat everyone else here. So when I got here and there was nothing left but your flannel, I knew you'd been blown to smithereens and it's looking like smithereens aren't any bigger than this," she waved the plaid again under his nose before continuing, "There wasn't even the bill of your baseball cap left over and the next thing I knew I had nothing left of you except this piece of plaid, but YOU CHANGED YOUR SHIRT!"

"Will you stop using the word smithereens?" he growled. Lorelai had jumped, all right. She'd jumped right off the deep end and was cliff diving into an ocean of crazy.

Without looking he jumped too. And missed again. Man, I used to jump better than that, he thought.

 _Jess is a dead man._

As his arms reached for her this time, Lorelai had given him a hard shove. "Why did you get me so worried? Why did you leave this shirt behind here at Sookie's and go home to change? That's just crazy, Luke. When did you get so crazy?"

Reeling from his second failed jump attempt, Luke yelled, "I didn't change my shirt! I'm wearing the same shirt I had on when we had dinner today!"

"Then why is your flannel burned?"

"That's not my flannel." He peered at the scrap in her hand. "That's a blanket, not a shirt. I don't have any flannels like that."

"So you didn't get blown to smithereens in the fireball?"

"Well, duh," he said, waving his arms to show that his body was intact and in front of her.

She stared at his intact clothing and body before answering. "Not your flannel?"

"Nope."

"You're not dead?"

"Very much the opposite."

"Alive and kicking?"

"Close," Luke growled, taking a step forward.

He pulled her to him and keeping a firm grasp on her waist, he jumped. And landed. Third time lucky, he thought, as his lips landed where he'd wanted them to be occasionally over the past half-dozen years.

 _Maybe Jess gets to live after all._

He kissed her like he'd jumped off Lana'i Lookout cliff in Oahu, Hawaii. Fifteen meters, ten meters, five meters, then splash as Lorelai got a clue and joined in.

"Close?" she asked as she moaned in response to the sweetest lips she'd ever tasted.

"Alive and kissing," he punned when he stopped to draw breath.

"Lame joke," she said. "I'm glad you're not blown to smithereens." Lorelai took the lead this time, dropping soft kisses on his cheek, which was just beginning to sprout fresh scruff.

"I'm glad you stood still this time," he said. His hands slid smoothly into her hair, his fingers tugging on her ear lobes, then losing themselves in her curls. He took possession of her mouth again as sweet and gentle became intense and spicy.

Her moan became something more sensual as Luke stepped up his game yet again, pressing his body against hers, her camelhair coat gaping just right for their hips to meet, sharing the heat in the chilly Thanksgiving evening.

Lorelai broke the kiss. "Blanket!" she cried.

"No no no no no," groaned Luke, bending over in desperation. "What's wrong now?"

"Not your flannel. It was Sookie's blanket that got burned. We gotta find Sookie, make sure she's ok!"

Grasping her elbows, he rested his forehead against Lorelai's. After a long moment, he lifted his head and called, "Sookie!"

"Yeah?" she answered from the porch, not ten feet away.

"You OK?" he asked.

"I'm good. Enscotched," she replied, her head sagging back onto the seat cushion.

He turned to Lorelai. "OK?"

She nodded. "Hey Sook," she said, grinning at Luke. "Where's your blanket?"

"Deep-fried. Kinda exploded."

"OK, good. We're just gonna keep going here. I think we're on a roll."

"Keep up the good work," Sookie agreed as she slumped back in to semi-consciousness.

"I'm on the roll," said Luke. "Or at least I was. You dropped my buns," he noted.

"Won't make that mistake again," she grinned lasciviously as she reached behind him.

* * *

"Hey, Luke," said Sookie. She had managed to drag herself off the porch and stood beside the still-kissing couple. She polished off the dregs of her margarita as she watched the scene she'd hoped would happen one day.

"Umph," he replied. No way in hell was he going to take his lips off Lorelai's. She was way too skittish tonight.

"I don't have a table."

He scowled. "Um, OK," he mumbled.

"I did have a table, but they deep-fried it, a piece at a time."

Lorelai smiled, making it more difficult for Luke to concentrate on the kissing and the hugging.

She wrapped her hands around Luke's waist and tilted her head back. "Sookie thinks we're going to do it on a table."

"When?"

"Our first time."

"Not Sookie's table," he growled. Lorelai gasped and laughed at the same time.

Sookie chimed in unsteadily as she pointed at Luke. "Gotta find another table. Table's been deep-fried." She walked back to the porch and refilled her glass from the pitcher of margaritas. "Made a big boom, pretty fire. Soaked with tequila."

"Can't find my salt shaker," she mumbled. "Prob'ly got deep-fried."

She looked at Lorelai and Luke again. "You're gonna need another table," she repeated redundantly.

As the smoke lifted, Jackson and his friends drunkenly stumbled back to the place where Lorelai and Luke had become the main attraction instead of the deep-fryer.

"Can I get another Thunderdome?" called Lorelai to their audience, breaking away from her attack on Luke's neck.

Phil popped another beer, took a long swig, then began. "Jackson! Jackson! Jackson! Jackson!"

Sookie giggled. "Not Jackson, Phil, Luke."

Phil, Jackson and the other revelers with their eyes still open obediently began chanting. "Luke! Luke! Luke! Luke!"

The chants brought Jess and Rory, who had found each other long before and had gone into Sookie's house for some necking time, to the scene before them.

"Huh," said Jess. "He finally jumped."

"Looks like he caught her, too," agreed Rory. "It's about time. Do you think we ought to send them home?"

"Nah, it's more fun to wait and see how long it will take them to notice that Kirk's taking pictures."

"So we wait?"

"Yep. Hey, I know how to make a cat sound like a dog," offered Jess in the way of small talk.

"Yeah? How?"

"Take a cat, pour gasoline on him. Light a match, toss it, and 'Woof!'" he smirked.

Rory rolled her eyes as Sookie, Jackson and Phil giggled.

"Did anyone see Mrs. Dobler's cat? He's been gone for a while," asked Sookie.

"We can go look for him," offered Rory. "What's his name?"

"Fireball."

 _Fin_

 **A/N:** Lightweight, trivial fluff. I did enjoy having Jess taunt Luke. That stupid cat joke is my hubby's favorite when measured by the number of times he tells it.


End file.
